Friday, December 5, 2008


I'm not really hungry, I just am craving sweets. I don't feel hugely ill, in that I've certainly felt much worse than this at times in the past. I do feel unwell, fighting a head cold so my face & head aches, my nose hurts from sneezing, the swelling in my nasal passage & sinuses is causing an itchiness in my whole head, and I feel a general irritation at the whole situation.

Mostly I just want to settle back into routine. At the same time I'm resisting even the simple routine things of writing or sitting. I feel distracted by my head aching. I find it too easy to be checking websites and wishing CK was online to chat with than I do to just string any thoughts together to write.

I was also pretty busy mentally today for work. Spent much of the day detailing my accomplishments for 2008, finally tracking down how to rebuild the November report that got missed in Monday's server mess, and was on and off the phone coaching someone through finishing development on their first change request. My promotion is entirely entangled in bureaucracy.

I didn't go read for SMART today, not wanting to pass my cold along. This was actually helpful given everything I was working on. I also did not go to asana practice at Prananda tonight; JW has a strict, "Keep your germs at home!" policy. I think that's when I started to feel the irritation.

CK was heading out to asana practice and I was sitting at home. I've looked forward to practice tonight with her. It was the second night of practice I was missing with her after not going to the Dharma center last night. I've worn her hoodie all day, one we both forgot was at my house. It has been a sweet comfort in my litany of cranky feelings.

I don't want to go to class tomorrow -- a combination of not feeling well and enjoying last weekend with CK so much.

Just an escalation of feeling irritated and not fully well. When any additional ache in the body is added to the level that I live with from day to day it feels burdensome. Since I'm not hugely ill I have the energy to be irritated, chafed by it.

No comments:

Post a Comment