Tuesday, May 12, 2009


So the cold that arrived last Tuesday manifested into a hard, dry cough by Friday. Monday I phoned my doctor's office to see about some more samples of the new allergy medication. I mentioned the cough, shortly there after I actually coughed and my doctor's nurse said, "So, we'll see you at 11:30, OK."

Not really a question and 11:30 found me waiting at my doctor's office. His nurse frowned when she heard me cough. He frowned when he heard it.

I was complaining about the lousiness of my health this spring. A sinus infection and now mild bronchitis. My doctor was quick to point out that I was not nearly as bad sounding as I had been in the past and that I'd not had bronchitis in nearly 4 years.

I was born with asthma and upper respiratory allergies. Not seasonal allergies, I have things that trigger me all year round. Growing up this constantly left me short of breath and prone to illness. Through my 20s I regularly got bronchitis in addition to really suffering from allergies. Sometimes 3 times a year. I would spend autumn through spring battling bronchitis and other types of upper respiratory infections. The only time I've been hospitalized as an adult was for a viral pulmonary infection I got one August, right after the first full WOMAD festival. I've even manage to crack a couple of ribs coughing.

This all changed when I stopped eating meat and has only continued to improve. My respiratory allergies and tendency toward bronchitis has gotten so much better that at times it has felt like I don't have asthma anymore. It has seemed miraculous to me, my doctor, and my mother. So much so that a couple of years ago my doctor made a point to conduct a breathing test on me when I felt great.

I was feeling so optimistic about this test but it triggered a mild asthma attack. I didn't need any medication for it, just space to breathe. My doctor smiled, noted that I was amazingly improved, but I still have asthma.

The past few days have been an unwelcome reminder of it. I feel so tired and short of breath that it is hard to do much of anything. I even took a nap in the middle of the day today. I hardly ever take naps! Deep, yoga breathing causes me to start coughing. The coughing makes my whole body ache. On top of that I feel anxious that I'm not getting enough done.

I'm sure my teachers would point out that when sick, just be sick. I find this tedious and difficult, to just be sick and I've been fighting it for a week now.

Tonight CK went to some developer groups. I usually teach, but I'd phoned Dishman earlier and they canceled tonight's class - extending the last spring series out a week to make up for it. After she left I mindfully took a long, hot bath with bubbles and I read from the novel she got me for my birthday, 'Lavina'. Afterwards I had some dinner.

I don't feel cured by just relaxing tonight, which some part of me is mildly annoyed at, but it did feel good to just relax into the quiet of the evening. I'm really hoping I feel better tomorrow.

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